The Angry Bear

I’m late on the posts today, but I have a wealth of information to drop, so let’s get right to it. DVD-wise, there is a lot of grit and a lot of shit, so here goes…

Daybreakers

• BLOOD ORGY! THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!

Legion

• When angels turn into zombies, and then strike. Enough said.

Edge of Darkness

• Man was a cop until his daughter dies, then all he wants is revenge. Gee, haven’t seen this one before…

Daria: The Complete Series

• One of MTV’s cult-favorites. I’m surprised that it took this long for it to come out, but there it is. Look at it this way, at least now you have someone to relate to your apathy.

The Karate Kid: Part I & II (Blu-Ray)

• One of my favorite films of all time when I was growing up, of a kid that learns about karate from a strange janitor in his apartment complex. If you don’t know it, then you had no childhood.

Tags: Daria, Daybreakers, DVD releases, Karate Kid, Legion

It’s been a while since I put one of these up, given the lack of tangible releases.  Thankfully, this week has some great things – including mutated fish.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

• Heath Ledger’s last one (after he passes), it’s a pure fanciful acid trip. It takes a look at the choices of good and evil, while trying to save your soul. A stacked cast and a different outlook… the review is on here somewhere.

It’s Complicated

• The movie about not knowing what you want – either wanting your ex-husband, or the guy you are currently dating. The star cast carries it, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before

Megapiranha

• Please get this movie… get a bottle of your favorite alcohol, and drink every time it doesn’t make sense. All you need to know is that the piranha have become the size of elephants, and head out of the Amazon and to Florida. Take the time and watch it.

Dune (Blu-ray)

• If you like your blue-eyed peoples and your giant phallus-looking creatures in a giant kitty litter box, now enjoy it in HD.

Vamp Vixens: Vamp Bangers Go Wild!

• Um… I cannot say anything about this film, except that I don’t think it would ever get an Oscar. Now a Woody…

Tags: Dune, DVD releases, Imaginarium, It's Complicated, Megapiranha, Vamp Vixens

It’s a dry week, with not-so-many amazing catches that one would actually want, but we do what we can. Thankfully, the big headliner of the week, Sherlock Holmes, has already been reviewed waaaay back when so my work is already done. Still, you can always ask me to review something else…

Sherlock Holmes

• Let’s be honest here: this is kinda the Holmes that people know about only with a whole lot of action. The plot centers around the death and rise of a man that supposedly has magical powers, and Holmes has to stop him. At least it stays in the right vein of creativity: homosexual innuendos and all.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakeal

• Did you see the first one? Have you gotten tired of the high-pitched voices yet? This one is just like it, only they add in the Chipettes: in all of the naked gyrating glory. (You wish I was kidding)

Alice in Wonderland: Anniversary Edition

• I’m surprised that this didn’t come out two weeks ago, but it’s here now. The remastered version of the Walt Disney original that had people scratching their heads and truly realizing that the Cheshire Cat is one creepy critter

Deadliest Catch: Season 5

• Probably one of the more dangerous seasons, it’s just like the rest: all frigid cold, angry sailors, and lots of crab on the line. This is also the last season before my favorite Captain, Captain Phil Harris, passed away.

The Protector (On Blu-ray)

• If you enjoy Muy Thai fighting and a man on a mission to save his elephant, then pick it up

Tags: Alice, Alvin, Chipmonks, Deadliest Catch, Protector, Sherlock Holmes

The Men Who Stare At Goats

• The surprisingly true story of a government ‘Jedi’ society that was to try and fight against Hitler’s supposed paranormal group, and the reporter getting the story. It looks so silly and ridiculous that I almost can’t pass it up, especially when it has the word Jedi in it.

Blind Side

• Story of Michael Oher, how he went from homeless and abandoned to offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens thanks to the love and kindness of one woman. It’s really a well done story, and to listen to Sandra Bullock talk in a southern twang all night is fine by me.

Red Cliff

• The latest from John Woo, it’s his take on the end of the Han Dynasty, and the start of industrial Japan. Most of what Woo does tickles my fancy, regardless of the storyline. He knows how to draw out a fight and action sequence, what can I say?

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

• A revisioned children story, this is the tale of a group of animals, bent on out-smarting the farmers who want to keep them off their land. I never heard of the tale when I was younger, but this thing is packed with some killer A-list actors, so it can do whatever it wants.

The Brothers

• A younger brother takes care of the family after the eldest disappears in Afghanistan. The idea is kinda overplayed, but the combo of bothers (Gyllenhaal/Maguire) intrigues me.

Toy Story I & II

• They are out on Blu-ray. Go get them.

Tags: Blind Side, Brothers, DVD, Fox, Jedi, Red Cliff, Toy Story

It’s a little late, but I made sure that I would have it up at some point today. Regardless, let’s just get to business, shall we?

The Princess and the Frog

• The re-imagining of an old classic, Disney-style, of the prince that was transformed into a hapless frog by a evil sorcerer. This being Disney’s first princess story AND it’s first racial story has made heads turn for a whole bunch of reasons, so it’s something to look at.

Astro Boy

• Boy Robot gets created and was the biggest story in the world back in the 80s. Hell, the name Astro Boy is THE thing in Japan still today because it help create the anime and manga culture. And of course, like all things… Americans ruined it. Entirely.

Ninja Assassin

• The newest film by the Wachowshi family (One of them is calling himself ‘Lana’ instead of Larry so to each their own). It basically depicts the goriest side of the ninja ideals. It’s got some interesting concepts, but with the Brothers Grim, you get the best of the overdone.

Did You Hear About the Morgans?

• Two New Yorkers witness a murder and must go into witness protection in Oregon until the trial is over. If it wasn’t for Hugh Grant being, well… Hugh Grant, this movie may be just like every other romantic comedy. However, he ruins it like every other movie he is in. Seriously, how he gets work is beyond me.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Vol. XVII

• As long as they keep bringing them out, then I will keep mentioning them. This one has their very first show, The Crawling Eye, along with one of the worst films they ever aired (besides Manos, The Hands of Fate) The Final Sacrifice

Armored

• A group of security workers decide to rob the thing they guard – an armored van. The plot is shady, but with an over-packed cast, one can argue that they can ‘steal’ themselves a decent movie for a night. (that’s right… I said it. Wanna fight about it?)

Twilight: New Moon (Comes out March 20th)

• There is nothing I can say that would make this movie feasibly worth watching or enjoyable. It and the books are shit and should be looked at as such. I recognize it coming out only because it is my duty. That is all.

Tags: Armored, Disney, DVD, Morgans, MST3K, Ninja, Twilight

The week after the Oscars is always the scariest for new DVD’s. It’s time for all of those nominations and pushed titles to get shown and strut their stuff. This week was no different and will either hurt your bank account or keep you busy.

Up In The Air

• This is the tale about a man that lives his life in a suitcase, going from company to company to downsize and “cut the fat” when he needs to, while dealing with lonely hearts and desperation. The premise is interesting and unique, and personally Clooney in this is just right (well, he’s always right) so it’s enough to keep me entertained.

Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

• This movie is not here to make you feel good. The story is about Precious – an illiterate, overweight, and pregnant teenager who is naive and abused in the urban jungle. Her life is going nowhere until a school teacher opens a door and gives her a chance. Watching this movie, you’re going to have a few moments of catharsis and celebration, but it’s going to be a long ass time coming.

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

• The movie follows right after the first one… only several years later and everyone is showing their age. There’s no Willem Dafoe and therefore you’re going to lose a lot of the magic. However, the nonstop action is still rampant and you’re going to still have the same general spark that you did before. The only question is… is it enough eight years after the fact?

Capitalism: A Love Story

• The next story in Michael Moore’s plethora of documentary filming, this one touching on what has happened to the economy and why we can’t get it back to where it was during the Clinton administration.   Personally, I think the man has a good idea, but gets lost in his personal vendetta. Sicko, his last film, however, was very well done, so if it has the same spark, it might be worth it.

Old Dogs

• Take two washed up actors and one writer from an adult comedy show that needs some extra money for his third yacht, throw them to Disney and you have yourself a movie. I mean really, if the title doesn’t give you fair warning, then what will?

Planet 51

• It’s a kids movie about humans landing on an alien world! OMG! Seriously though.. that’s what it’s about. They think he’s an alien (because he is…) and try to do tests on him (because it’s role-reversal). Unless you love Dwayne Johnson’s voice, it isn’t worth it.

Johnny Bravo: Season one

• One of the best and unappreciated Cartoon Network shows back during the 90s, Johnny Bravo was the big-muscled, over-styled-haired, dim-witted, chick-chaser that never won. But that’s why we loved him. I love Johnny B and for the youngun’s in the audience, you need to too.

Tremors: The Complete Series

• Yes, in its infinite wisdom, SyFy made a series dedicated to the show and its several horrible sequels. This one would have a nondescript plot every week and have some type of tourist pop in, die, and then the situation would be resolved in some manner. It needs to be mentioned simply because the world must know about this series and then create a drinking game in homage to its atrociousness.

Tags: Boondock Saints II, Bravo, Johnny, Old Dogs, Planet 51, Precious, Push, Sapphire, Tremors, Up in the Air

Hello again all you kids and crazed hooligans. Today is an interesting day of death, love, and Japan to hit your local DVD shelves and I’ll be damned if I’ll let it slip through my fingers and not to your eyeballs. So let’s get started.

2012

• The Mayan calendar says the world is going to end in December two years from now. Awesome. Really, this movie is going to blow some kinda dick, but it’s going to look fantastic in Blu-ray, so overall it’s at least worth it to test out your new TV and to see if your Playstation 3 works (Aww, too soon?)

Where the Wild Things Are

• Based off the beloved children’s book, it’s a story about a boy who lets his imagination run rampant to a world of wonder and monsters, letting loose and letting go. Even for a boy that had only 24 lines of dialogue and pulling a two hour movie out of it, it was very well created, and beautifully done.

Ponyo

• Another Miyazaki film so you know it’s got something, this one is in the same vein as The Little Mermaid. A boy saves a goldfish, who yearns to be a human. However, her father who is a sorcerer has other plans for her. Personally I don’t think that Miyazaki can do wrong, so regardless of how you feel about the plot, you can enjoy the experience.

The Neverending Story

• Everyone and their mother knows about the story of Bastian, the boy who steals a book that tells the tale of a land that is getting devoured by The Nothing, and it’s up to an 11-year-old to save it and the princess of the world. Filled with rock creatures, giant turtles, luck dragons (We’re going DOWNNNN) and loads more, all you can really say is MOONCHILD!!

Rifftrax Double Feature: Night of the Living Dead

• These are the guys that worked on and did MST3K, a show that to this day I will still just put on and watch with a group of friends. They have their own site and put out DVD’s of the same stuff, only for newer and older movies, and not whatever they could literally dig up and steal.

Tags: 2012, Luck Dragon, Miyazaki, Ponyo, Rifftrax, Things, Wild

Another Tuesday and another batch of movies to come out… and let me tell you, it’s like the floodgates opened up and spewed them out. I guess with the drought that we have had in the past few weeks, I can’t be surprised.

The Informant!

• Story about the government taking the Vice-President from an agri-buisness and using him as an informant (ha! He said it!) to try and prove their price fixing. Based loosely on things that happened in real life.

Everybody’s Fine

• In a world where all his kids have grown up and stopped talking to him, a father tries to reconnect. Seriously, that’s all that’s to it. The thing that saves it is the acting power in it (De Nero, Beckensale, Rockwell)

The Box

• Family that is in dire straights, a guy comes along with a mystery box-and-button that, once you push the shiny red button, they get money and no more worries. The catch is someone dies. Push the button….

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

• Freak show rolls into town with a vamp at the helm and a kid decides that being a vampire is better than his boring regular life. Based off the kids’ book, it stays sorta true to the original, but overall it’s something to watch.

Sorority Row

• Slasher that has girls dying in their sorority house! The plot will be awful and so will the acting, but if you’re like me and love seeing a girl die in a horror flick, then this is for you.

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths

• Just what DC Comics does, it’s a parallel world fight between even-matched heroes, only on the other world the doppelgangers are, of course, evil and are willing to kill (unlike everyone else on our side). Should be an interesting show.

Tags: Box, DC Comics, DVD, Everybody's fine, Informant, Vampire

I told you people that I was excited about this movie. Considering what else came out this week (Law Abiding isn’t worth it kids… I want you to realize that now), I had no other choice than to express my love and joy for a movie that makes a staple out of being bad. I mean how can you go wrong? So take a peak after the jump at the review and make your own assumptions, but be warned: this trailer will solidify everything I have ever said and then some.

(more…)

Tags: Black, DVD, Dynamite, Review

There is only one thing you really need to care about today and that’s the man that’s cleanin’ up the streets. Regardless, there is some other stuff that’s coming out today too… I guess.

Black Dynamite

• A spoof on Blacksploitation films of the 70s, this movie has it all. You have your action, your kung-fu, your drugs and love story, all centered around one man that is too much to handle. I don’t know why I’m still writing. Go get it.

Law Abiding Citizen

• A man watched his daughter get murdered and then one of the killers walk away. To get his revenge, he comes back and kills the man several years later, with the warning that this would only be the beginning unless the flawed justice system isn’t fixed. With Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler in this, it’s sure to be a decent little drama but I can see this being just the same thing we usually get.

Halo: Legends

• Similar to the Animatrix from several years ago, this is a 9-part movie done by nine different animation studios, showing different views of the Halo universe. It’s something to watch, especially if you were a fan of the series and the massive story Bungie and Microsoft have spun.

Goodfellas: 20th Anniversary Collection

• If you haven’t seen this movie yet, it’s about time you have. It’s right up there as one of the biggest classic movies you need to see, with hitters like Ray Liotta, Paul Sorvino and directed by Scorsese himself. Get it, keep it, make it happen.

Tags: DVD, Dynamite, Goodfellas, Halo, Law Abiding